Imago Couples Therapy in NYC
You can love your partner deeply and still feel completely stuck in the relationship.
Maybe you keep having the same argument in slightly different forms. Perhaps one of you pushes harder to be understood, and the other one shuts down. Or maybe both of you are talking, and somehow neither person actually feels heard.
When issues like this continue, many couples eventually start to wonder whether the problem is simply that they are no longer compatible. When in reality, the issue may actually be that you have gotten caught in a cycle that makes it difficult to understand what is happening beneath the conflict.
That is where Imago couples therapy in NYC can help. Imago Relationships Therapy focuses on helping partners slow down reactive conversations and communicate in ways that create more connection.
I provide virtual Imago couples therapy for couples throughout New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut who want to better understand each other and build relationships that feel more intentional.
Meet Your Certified NYC Imago Couples Therapist, Emily Lambert Robins
Hi, I’m Emily Lambert Robins, LCSW, Certified Imago Couples Therapist, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, former attorney, and lifelong relationship nerd.
Relationships have fascinated me for as long as I can remember. And one of the things I have learned over the years is that most arguments between couples are rarely about what they appear to be arguing about.
Underneath the disagreements about the dishes, money, planning, or sex, there may be something more vulnerable happening. Maybe one partner feels unimportant. And the other partner feels criticized.
As a certified Imago relationship therapist, I help couples slow down these interactions enough to see what is actually happening between them. My style is warm, collaborative, and direct. I am not here to decide who is right or referee every argument. Instead, my goal is to help you connect with each other differently.
What Is Imago Couples Therapy?
Imago Relationship Therapy is a form of couples counseling that focuses on the connection between our present-day relationships and the emotional experiences that shaped us during childhood.
We all bring our own histories, expectations, fears, and protective mechanisms into our adult relationships. This means that something your partner says or does today may touch on something much older inside of you. After all, maybe your partner didn’t actually ruin dinner – maybe your childhood experience did.
Imago can help us become curious about why certain interactions carry so much emotional weight.
One of the main tools in Imago therapy is the Imago Dialogue. This is a structured way of communicating that can help partners slow down and listen to each other more intentionally. Instead of immediately defending yourself or explaining why your partner is wrong, you practice the skill of actively listening to their experience.
And yes, it can be much harder than it sounds.
But Imago couples therapy in NYC can also make space for conversations that normally turn into fights to become opportunities for understanding.
Reasons Why Couples Start Imago Therapy in NYC
Some couples may seek out Imago relationship therapy in NYC because something feels seriously wrong in the dynamic.
But couples do not need to be on the brink of ending their relationship to start therapy. A lot of couples may simply realize that they keep falling into the same patterns and want to understand them before resentment builds.
You might consider Imago relationship therapy if you are dealing with:
The Same Arguments Over and Over Again
Imago couples counseling can help you become aware of the cycle instead of continuing to treat each argument as if it’s an entirely new problem.
Communication Problems
Imago therapy focuses on giving both partners room to listen, reflect, and respond.
Emotional Disconnection
Imago work can help couples rebuild their sense of curiosity and emotional intimacy by creating more intentional opportunities to understand one another.
Major Life Changes
Imago couples therapy in NYC can help partners talk about how their needs and expectations have shifted and provide space for them to figure out what the relationship needs now.
Intimacy and Sexual Concerns
Imago therapy can be combined with sex therapy to improve emotional safety and reduce performance anxiety or other sexual concerns.
Because I provide both couples counseling and sex therapy, we can address these concerns together rather than treating them as separate problems.
How Imago Relationship Therapy in New York Can Help
A big part of Imago therapy is learning to see your partner’s experience without automatically assuming that understanding means agreement.
You can understand why something hurt your partner and still have a different perspective. And you can stay curious about your partner without abandoning your own point of view.
Conflict is a natural and often healthy part of being in a relationship with others, so it’s hard to avoid. However, what you can change is how you respond to it.
Imago therapy can help you:
Rebuild empathy
Reduce defensiveness
Approach conflict with greater curiosity
Express needs more clearly
Imago Therapy for Infidelity and Betrayal
Infidelity and other forms of betrayal can change the way that partners experience trust and safety within a relationship.
Imago therapy for infidelity can provide a structured way to start talking about what happened without every conversation becoming overwhelmed by defensiveness or anger. Therapy can help both partners create enough space to understand the impact of the betrayal and identify what each person would need in order to decide if repair is possible.
But can a relationship survive infidelity with Imago therapy?
Unfortunately, Imago couples therapy in NYC cannot guarantee that a relationship will survive infidelity. But it can give couples a safe place to understand what happened and what they want moving forward.
Imago Couples Retreat in New York
Sometimes couples want more time to focus on their relationship than what weekly therapy allows.
This is why I offer Getting the Love You Want couples workshops, which are based on Imago Relationship Therapy principles. These workshops give couples structured time to step away from daily responsibilities, focus on their relationship patterns, and learn new ways to communicate with each other.
An Imago couples retreat in NYC may be especially helpful if you want to deepen your relationship and dedicate focused time to reconnecting.
FAQs About Imago Couples Therapy in NYC
If you’re still curious about how Imago therapy could strengthen your relationship, the following answers to FAQs I hear might help clear some things up.
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“Couples counseling” is a broad term that can include many different therapeutic approaches.
Imago Relationship Therapy is just one specific model. In my sessions, we spend less time having the two of you talk to me about each other and more time helping the two of you talk to each other.
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Imago couples therapy in NYC can be used with partners of many different types and at various stages of a relationship.
I work with married, engaged, dating, LGBTQIA+, monogamous, polyamorous, and other relationship structures.
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You may have heard of Gottman Method Couples Therapy before. Gottman focuses heavily on relationship research, communication behaviors, conflict management, and patterns that predict relationship stress.
Imago targets understanding the emotional meaning underneath conflict and learning how earlier relational experiences influence what happens between partners in the here and now. Imago also relies heavily on structured partner-to-partner dialogue.
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We will start by talking about what brought you to therapy and what each person wants to change. From there, I will help you identify cycles that tend to happen in your relationship.
We may use Imago Dialogue during sessions so you can practice listening, reflecting, and communicating directly with each other. However, the goal is for these skills to become something you also use outside of therapy.
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There is no set timeline.
Every couple is different. Some couples notice changes in their communication relatively quickly, while deeper relational patterns may take longer to understand and change. The length of therapy depends on your unique relationship history and dynamics, as well as your individual past experiences.
Therapy is not about racing towards the finish line. It’s about creating changes that hold up when you leave sessions.
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A certified Imago therapist has completed specialized training in Imago Relationship Therapy beyond their general professional training. This includes learning how to use Imago principles and structured dialogue techniques to help couples better understand the emotional patterns underneath recurring disagreements.
As a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, I use these tools throughout my work with couples while adapting them to the unique needs of each relationship.
Start Imago Couples Therapy in NYC
You do not have to stop having conflict in order to have a good relationship. But you might need to learn a different way to move through it.
I provide virtual Imago couples therapy throughout New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut for couples who are tired of experiencing the same patterns in their relationship. Therapy can give you a new way to reconnect and move through conflict together.